Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY