she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
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Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more