Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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