nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
