No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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