one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
