I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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