with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
