I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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