I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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