She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
