Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just had sex bonerless
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
