Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
