he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm sobbing to NWA
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
