Im at strip club and am horny
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just google imaged poop.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
