just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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