Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
