i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize