Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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