Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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