everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
