So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
