How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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