This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
