NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
