Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
