Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
