Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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