you turned your livingroom into a bong?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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