'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
