...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
