I'm drive I can fine osifer
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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