Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
