They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
