The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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