ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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