I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize