I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
