i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
