is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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