im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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