she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
