Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
