Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
