I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
