Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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