She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't deserve a penis
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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