is wine microwaveable?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
