I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
