I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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