How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize