Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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