The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
