Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
