I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
