By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
