Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
