You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
