I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
