I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
