I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
