Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
try to milk me bitch
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